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How to Know Someone Who Likes You Stalks You

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Many people exercise not take stalking behaviors seriously, which can atomic number 82 to potentially unsafe situations. A stalker is someone who pays attention to you in a style that would crusade almost people to experience fearful. Stalking is illegal and tin be accompanied by behaviors related to harassment or intimidation.[ane] If you think you lot're being stalked or have concerns about someone'due south behavior toward you, take whatsoever indications or "gut feelings" seriously and written report your concerns to a local authority. Pay attending to any strange behaviors and familiarize yourself with the traits and characteristics common to stalkers.

  1. i

    Find an immediate and persistent need to contact y'all. A stalker may begin to immediately reach out to you lot and contact you incessantly. This person may begin to call, text, e-mail and visit you to a degree that feels invasive to you lot. If the contact feels outside of social norms and exceeds your comfort level, the behavior may be related to stalking.

    • Mayhap the person reaches out to you over several social media platforms and "friends" you lot, then begins to text you not-stop. You lot may begin to feel uncomfortable.
  2. 2

    Recognize someone who is clingy or keeping tabs on you. A person with stalker tendencies may insist you bring him or her to events, or to tag along to meetups with friends or family. The person may insist on knowing where you're going or knowing your plans. Y'all may begin to feel uneasy with someone always wanting to know your whereabouts or plans for the twenty-four hour period.

    • If someone insists on knowing what you do each day, this can be a red flag. There'southward a difference between being interested in your life and becoming obsessed with your whereabouts.
    • If you begin to date someone who shows these traits, reconsider seeing him or her over again.

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  3. 3

    Be aware if they know more about yous than y'all've told them. A stalker may have information about you that you accept never provided. The person may enquiry you and know information virtually you, your workplace, your friends, family members, and favorite places. They may know your route to and from piece of work, what time you lot go to the gym, and any other patterns in your schedule.[2]

    • You may notice that the person slips up and says something y'all never told them. This can be a warning sign.
  4. four

    Place social awkwardness. A stalker may not know the boundaries of adequate social behavior. The person may exist socially awkward, take footling to no social sensation, and not "fit in" in groups.[3] The stalker may have lilliputian awareness as to how people interact with others or make assumptions for how others run across them. Often, the person has no or few personal relationships and has low cocky-esteem.[4]

    • Some people are but awkward, not stalkers. If the person doesn't seem to obsess over you, isn't threatening, and doesn't seem attached to you lot in particular, then they probably just aren't practiced at socializing.
  5. 5

    Consider how they respond to boundaries. Discover what happens if you politely fix a purlieus with them, such as "please don't talk to me when I'm working" or "please don't call after 9pm; I need this time to unwind solitary." While regular people will respect this, a stalker will not. They may ignore your boundaries, try a different technique to invade your space (e.g. spying), or intimidate you lot so that yous are afraid to set boundaries.

    • Some socially bad-mannered people, and people with developmental disabilities, have trouble reading body linguistic communication. Only, if you lot clearly ask them not to practise something, they are capable of respecting that.
  6. vi

    Be alert to unannounced visits. Someone with stalking tendencies may drop in and visit you unannounced. This is troubling if you tell someone you accept plans and the person shows up without telling you commencement. Pay attention to this warning sign that the person is not attending to your boundaries or respecting your privacy.[v]

    • The person may human action innocent enough, but pay attention to your own feelings. Do y'all feel uneasy or threatened, even simply a lilliputian? Does the visit feel a bit aggressive or invasive to you lot?
    • Yous might besides notice that you bump into the person often when y'all are out. This may be because the person has memorized your schedule and knows where to find you throughout the solar day.
  7. seven

    Recognize physically aggressive behavior. A stalker may desire to take you all to themselves. If you begin to distance yourself, the person may become increasingly aggressive and intimidating. Whatever thoughts of you leaving tin crusade astringent distress to the person and trigger feelings of abandonment. The person may get physically ambitious. This person may follow you closely or stand nigh you equally if to say, "y'all cannot become abroad from me, even if you try."[6]

  8. 8

    Watch out for other serious behaviors. Stalking tin take many forms. If yous feel that the behavior someone if showing y'all may be considered stalking, then seek assistance from your local authorities. Some other serious behaviors that you should study immediately include:[vii]

    • Vandalizing your holding.
    • Sending things to you in the post, such every bit pictures, messages, or other items.
    • Driving past your house frequently.
    • Making false police reports about y'all.
  9. 9

    Reply to the stalking. If you lot believe you are being stalked, have some action. If someone is familiar to you and begins to experience threatening, clearly communicate on no uncertain terms that yous wish to be left alone. Limit your social media usage and increase your security everywhere: change your house locks, lock your windows, alter your phone number, and adjust your daily patterns. Avoid going places lonely and tell your friends, family unit, coworkers, and neighbors about your situation and ask for their help in keeping you safety.[8]

    • Never confront your stalker lonely. Always have someone - a friend, a family member, or an acquaintance - present with you. If necessary, alert the police force.

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  1. 1

    Recognize delusions. Many stalkers endure from delusions.[9] The delusions may be that you take something the person needs or wants, that you are this person's one and just soulmate, or that you hold secrets that the person must know.

    • The delusions may feed the stalking behavior, and the person will believe the delusions as true.
  2. 2

    Identify intensity. Most stalkers come off as very intense people. When you first meet a stalker, you lot may notice that they maintain intense and enduring eye contact. This may feel flattering at showtime but can begin to feel threatening. This person may believe that the 2 of you concord a very strong bond or are meant to be together.[10]

    • This intensity may come out through a barrage of texts, frequent visits, or elaborate ways of getting your attention.
  3. three

    Notice obsessiveness. A stalker may have obsessive tendencies.[eleven] They may not take no for an answer, and may show behaviors or have thinking that is highly fixated. This obsessiveness can exist very off-putting for others, all the same the person lacks sensation of how the behavior affects others.

    • The person may become so fixated in thoughts and behaviors that the stalking behavior becomes central to their life. For example, a stalker may become obsessed with seeing you every twenty-four hour period, or knowing what you will do adjacent.
  4. four

    Pay attending to a need for control. Feeling in control feeds stalking behaviors. The more the person knows about y'all, the more they experience powerful or in command of or over you lot. Often, control is obtained past knowing as much information most you lot equally possible. This is particularly true regarding social media. A stalker may ask you nigh photos or events in very specific ways.[12]

    • If someone asks you multiple times about the person you were with in a photograph or about a specific location of a post, this tin be a red flag.
  5. 5

    Exist enlightened of m gestures. Often, a stalker volition believe that y'all are the just person they can love. This romanticism tin can quickly turn to obsession and stalking behavior. This person, who you lot are not romantically involved with, may seek you out or try to win you over past doing grand gestures to evidence feelings of love.[13] This can include buying you expensive things, traveling far distances to run across y'all, or lavishly proposing to you.

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  1. i

    Recognize common demographics. Some patterns have emerged regarding stalkers within the U.s.. Some things to look for include someone who is unemployed or underemployed, in the tardily 30's to twoscore's, and intelligent (frequently a loftier school and/or college graduate). Stalkers tend to be male but can also exist female.[14]

    • Substance abuse and personality disorders are common in people who stalk.
  2. ii

    Place if information technology'southward someone you know. Most often, people are stalked by someone they know. The virtually common stalker is an ex. This can be specially unsafe if the ex has a history of domestic violence. An ex may bear witness up at your workplace and put you and other people in danger.[15] Someone you know may know what places yous frequent and threaten you at that place.

    • If you have an ex you think may be dangerous, alert workplace security and provide a photo of the person. You may want to alert your coworkers to whatsoever potential danger by maxim, "A unsafe person is trying to accomplish me. Please do non let the door open for this person."
    • Some people stalk for revenge and may be an ex-coworker, vindictive relative, or scorned friend.
  3. 3

    Identify whether your stalker is a stranger. Being stalked by a stranger may be merely as much a reason for concern as beingness stalked past someone y'all know, since it's incommunicable to know the stranger'due south motives and whether the person is dangerous. Some mutual reasons a stranger may stalk you include if he or she lusts for yous, agrees or disagrees with your political views, considers yous a celebrity, or feels loved-scorned by y'all.[16]

    • If you doubtable you are being stalked past a stranger, written report this business concern to the police.
  4. 4

    Seek assist to get rid of a stalker . If y'all are existence stalked, then information technology is important for yous to seek help as before long as possible. If not stopped, then stalking tin can escalate into a dangerous situation for you. Contact your local authorities every bit soon every bit possible to get help.[17]

    • If yous feel similar you are in firsthand danger, then call emergency services right away.

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  • Question

    What do I exercise if my ex is following me?

    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

    Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Plant of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

    Licensed Psychologist

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    What are the signs of obsession?

    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

    Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional person Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private do. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

    Professional Counselor

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  • Question

    How do you lot terminate stalking?

    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

    Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Advisor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practise. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

    Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

    Professional person Counselor

    Good Answer

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    If you believe someone is stalking you, report the action to the police immediately. They will guide y'all through the legal steps. Practice not interact with the person stalking yous. Change locks, telephone numbers, passwords, remove social media accounts and practice personal security.

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  • Collect evidence if you lot want to report the stalking. Save texts, voice messages, videos, or any other evidence of the stalking or threats from this person.

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Article Summary X

To know if someone is stalking you lot, expect for obsessive or controlling behaviors, as well as lack of respect for your boundaries. For example, they may constantly text you or ask to know exactly what you lot're doing each day. Be wary of a person who knows more about you than you lot've told them, such as your route to work or when yous go to the gym, since this may indicate they're keeping tabs on you. Yous may also notice they develop obsessive tendencies, such as needing to see you every day, fifty-fifty though you'd ve told them to leave you alone. Remember that stalking tin can be intimidating and dangerous if yous're the target, and then seek assist from your local authorities if you spot somebody behaving similar this towards you. For tips from our social co-author on how to confront a stalker, keep reading!

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